i have decided to try something new. well, really it isn't new. and really i should have already been doing this for at least the past ten years...if i am lenient only about 5 years (since that is when i had my first little wee one). and this new concept for me is really and truly being a stay-home mom, homemaker, housewife, whatever you want to call it.
i am not a natural at motherhood. okay, on some levels, maybe--i do have two children. but i also do not like (deep emphasis on NOT) to cook, clean, or manage any other household duty. those tasks do not come easily for me. plus, it is easy to not do anything when depression slides in so easily and quickly into your mindset. BUT this time i was and am not going to let it get me. i am going to beat it.
the last few months of 2006 were a bit difficult. i was struggling. i chalked it up to the winter--SAD (seasonal affective disorder). but i was feeling it in september when winter was not even a thought to the beautiful days of fall. laundry would pile up. dinners were eaten out. floors were dirty. tables and shelves were cluttered. i upped some meds and started seeing a "friend" for bi-weekly one-hour visits in hopes of a little pick me up. it helped a little. but i knew what i really needed to do. i needed to do something completely and utterly different.
i made it through christmas, barely. december 26th i took the tree down. i put away all the christmas garb. and i hooked up with a long-lost friend. i have started to FLY. i do a little each day. i really want to look at this homemaker stuff as my job (hey, maybe shawn could start giving me a salary, although i am sure i would have to pay taxes on it).
when i did work, before the young'uns came along, i would get up each morning and get myself ready for the day. that is what i am going to do now (except i didn't do it until almost noon today...it was a long morning). i cannot believe the difference i feel when i get up and get dressed.
i want to be the best mom for my chilluns. i want to be the best ol' lady for shawn. i want to do my best at my job. i want to do the best for me. i want to FLY!
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3 comments:
i have had many of the same feelings this new year, adjusting to life as a work-from-home mom. i just started back up on the flylady doctrines, too! i had drifted away a bit, but it's time to regroup. you and i are a lot alike, missy.
i want to fly under your wings and feel the breeze blow through my hair.
p.s. i love the new set up. the colors the whole feeling, it makes me feel so calm and at ease.
liz, your house is always way cleaner than mine. anytime you need a pick-me-up come on down and i'll make you feel better about your abilities as a homemaker.
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