24 Facts About Me

four jobs i've had in my life:

1. kindergarten teacher
2. telemarketer (for about a week)
3. library assistant
4. maid (housekeeper) at the super 8 in cedar city

four movies i would watch over & over:

1. the sound of music
2. return to me
3. mary poppins (it's a julie andrews thing)
4. my fair lady (i like musicals--what can i say)

four places i have lived:

1. north lincoln street, midvale
2. south lincoln street, midvale
3. pine street, midvale
4. grant street, midvale (okay, so i have lived on both north and south grant street--again, what can i say)

four tv shows i love to watch:

1. the office (last night's was soo funny)
2. monk
3. survivor
4. grey's academy (oops--anatomy--i get confused because terry woods (channel four news anchor) calls it grey's academy--)

four places i've been on vacation:

1. NYC -- my fave
2. Hawaii -- my second fave
3. Disneyland -- my fave with my fam
4. Alaska -- love that too

four websites i visit daily:

1. friend's blogs
2. macu
3. ebay
4. gmail

four of my favorite foods:

1. oreos
2. funeral potatoes (without onions only -- with onions i HATE!)
3. eggs & toast (made by Shawn)
4. scones

four places i'd rather be right now:

1. in bed, fast asleep
2. camping
3. savers
4. a good movie

there you have it.

busy a bee

Hi there, I am currently really busy sewing an Easter dress for Anna. It is adorable. Canary yellow with darling white polka dots. I also mastered a single strap purse to match the dress, it has a white wide ribbon bow to match the bow on Anna's dress. She'll look like the little angel she is.

Next I'll be making Mikey baby blue shorts with matching suspenders. He'll look just like the handsome boys in my favorite movie THE SOUND OF MUSIC . Thanks goodness for little boys.

I am so sorry for not blogging for almost a whole month. I know who my faithful bloggers are and I know you check every day waiting to see if I've posted. Thank you for being so faithful. Nothing means more to me than your steadfast support. Please know of my gratitude for all of your kindness.

Gotta go, the sewing machine is calling me...

effects of supernanny

so last night i made a deal with shawn so i could go to bed early (8:30--i was tired)---he would get a nap today if i could.
deal, he said.
well, i took my big ol' sleeping pill and off i went to la-la-land.
very nice--until around 11:30.
i woke to anna screaming her head off and shawn trying to calm her down. It was not working. so, i stormed out of bed and went into the front room and said "anna, downstairs to your bed."
she was screaming so i headed toward her to help her.
she continued to scream and started to run.
she was still screaming and i couldn't figure out what she was yelling.
she was running as fast as she could with an extra large blanket wrapped around her and still yelling.
as we rounded to corner to the stairs i finally made out what she screaming,
"DON'T CATCH ME, MOM, DON'T CATCH ME!"

i don't know what she thought i would do if i caught her? put her in bed? ah, the effects of supernanny.

p.s. the deal was null and void after i had to get out of bed--sorry shawn!

our ancestors

shawn was talking to anna last night about our latest trip to the temple. he told her how we do temple work for our ancestors.
anna said, "well, what about our anbrothers?"
shawn thought that she knew better and was trying to be funny because she had a sly grin after the question. silly girl.

a joke

the knock-knock joke...(how it is suppose to be...)

"hey, what's my name?"
"Anna"
"knock, knock"
"who's there?"
"you already forgot my name?! (ha!ha!)

how it went yesterday...

anna: "hey, what's my name?"
me: "Anna"
anna: "knock, knock"
me: "hi anna, would you like to come in and play?"
anna: "no, mom! you can't see me! there is not a door hole!"

i ruined the joke...but i am funny.

3 years later...

p.s. pre-script: i wrote this last week. today is march 2nd. i am doing just fine. things are good.
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i am coming up on my three year anniversary. it scares me for some reason. i think entirely too much about it. i cry. it makes me sad. i wonder if and when things will be different. sometimes they are. i don't think about it much in the summer or fall. but this month has been different and especially difficult. i don't remember how i felt last year. here is a brief synopsis of the dates and happenings:

• february 4, 2004 shawn took me to the emergency room because i couldn't get control. i kept crying and having anxiety attacks and crying and thinking terrible, awful thoughts. and not sleeping.
• february 4, 2004 i was sent home because there was no room. huh. lots of crazy people out there. we thought we could do it. we tried.
• february 14, 2004 shawn took me to the humane society where we got luckybuster the cat. i loved him immediately. he was good. he was calm. he was cheerful. he was what i needed. shawn wanted me to be happy. that's all. he went from being a dog person to a cat person--for me, to do what he could to help me.
• february 27, 2004 friday my friend called to ask me if my new cat was orange. yes, he is. then she cautiously and kindly said that she found luckybuster on the street and he had been hit by a car. he had pretty extensive head injuries. she had taken him to the animal shelter. i tried to call the shelter but they were closed. after a painful weekend of not knowing, i called the shelter. no. luckybuster did not make it (i guess he wasn't that lucky after all). i started to cry. i couldn't stop crying. i was not in anyway in control. it was the saddest day of all my life--and i had only had the cat for 2 weeks. pathetic.
• march 2, 2004 tuesday i was still crying. i wanted to die. i needed to die. but i didn't. it wasn't happening. shawn came home from work in the morning. we went to the emergency room again. this time there was room. i remember the crisis worker being so kind (i saw him later a cafe rio--how horrible is that! except i am sure that he had no idea who i was).
• march 2 - march 6, 2004 i spent the week on the 5th floor of lds hospital. they took away the drawstring from my hoodie and my tennis shoes were removed. i didn't have a belt but that would have gone too. they were put in a locker and someone else had the key. shawn had to go home and get me clothes and such. visiting hours were from 5-7 pm daily. for a second i was sad--i wanted shawn to stay with me. but then i was glad. i didn't want to see anyone. shawn had to go. i had to stay. and i did. and i think it helped me. sometimes i want to go back. it was safe there. very safe.

my children were taken care of by others. anna stayed at my sister's house. she brings it up now and then, saying, "remember when you were really sick and i stayed a long time at autie kate's house." that's all. she doesn't ask more nor does she say more. i don't know how much she remembers. shawn brought them one night to see me. it was hard. he didn't bring them after that one time. it was just too hard. michael went from one ward member to another during the day and evening. shawn's co-workers even watched the kids in the evening. everyone was so kind. shawn had mikey at night. i was not a good mother. thankfully they were only 3 and 1 and hopefully anna doesn't remember anything but staying at auntie kate's house.

sometimes i wonder why. why do i have to be like this? why did this happen? why does it still linger? lots of days it is a struggle to get up and out of bed, to take care of the kids, to take care of myself. sometimes i choose to do the least amount possible and usually that includes getting the kids to school and going back to bed. it's just easier. but lately i have been really fighting. i have to--it is just winter and spring will be here soon and all will be well. i can do this. i will do this.

Valentine's Day--family style!

i love valentine's day. i think i really started loving it 12 years ago when i had the BEST valentine date EVER! (that story will be for another post, another day).

yesterday we had lots of fun. the kids and i set up this great dinner for shawn. anna did all the decorating. she gathered things left over from my party (thanks tiff for a great write-up).

she did a good job. they both helped set the table and, of course, anna had to pull out the fancy glasses. we had ravioli, caesar salad and garlic bread. with chocolate cake for dessert. and a sparkiling apple cider beveridge (compliments of shawn). all by candlelight.

the flowers are also compliments of shawn. the yellow roses are mine and the daisys and carnations are anna's (he is spoiling her early in life on valentine's day)