a little randomness...

*today is thursday
*it is neither here nor there
*i had a leg cramp last night
*painful, excruciatingly painful
*my first one of this pregnancy
*my leg still hurts
*now i am going to have to remember to flex my foot before i stretch...in the middle of the night, in the middle of my sleep...ugh
*i get up way too much in the middle of the night to pee
*i hate it
*kids were up a 5 am ... i was not too happy
*i got a pedicure yesterday
*it's been a long time since i had one
*my friend gave it to me for christmas
*great gift
*we went together
*even better
*shawn is still looking for work
*i am liking having him around
*too much
*mikey wants him to get a job at in-n-out
*i don't think shawn would mind that
*did i mention my leg cramp last night?
*i am now into my third trimester
*that means 3 months to go
*holy crap
*3 months...
*i watched a show last night
*a girl had a baby in prison
*but the kicker was that she got to keep her baby with her!
*poor kid when he is asked where he is from "i was born and raised in prison"
*and i am sure that as tax payers, we pay for it
*stupid. she needed to put him up for adoption.
*i will now get off my soap box.
*i have a decision to make right now
*should i
a. be done and go shower and start my day; or
b. go climb back in bed and start it later
*big decision
*i better go think about it, but you have a good day now!

dog, it's wintertime!

apparently it has been too cold outside lately for this dog of ours. or maybe he is just getting lazy.

he stands half-in and half-out of the door. all the time. it's a new thing.

i threaten to make him start paying the heating bill (yes, we do have one). but it doesn't seem to work.

oh, what can you do for a couple of bucks?

 

so i got these gingerbread houses last year on christmas eve at costco for a couple of bucks. who knew they would last an entire year...and not one broken piece of gingerbread or candy. and the icing worked great. except the green but we didn't need that.

we pulled them out for some sunday night fun.

and they did have fun.

and it didn't matter that the kits were a year old. the kids couldn't taste the difference.

and i don't think tucker cared. he just liked being in the middle of it all.

gingerbread houses: $4
eating year-old candy: priceless

in honor of his 35th birthday...

things i love about shawn...

1. his smile. i fell in love with it the first night out in that bowling alley in enoch, utah. i tried to get him to dance after every strike but he only smiled. it was good enough for me.

2. his quiet nature. it is such a calming influence on me. and we all know that calmness is what i need regularly.

3. his humor. he is quite funny. but you have to really be listening to hear it...beacause of #2.

4. his thoughtfulness. a text here, a note there. he loves me, i know.

5. his energy. he is ALWAYS doing something. used to drive me nuts, now i appreciate it.

6. he works hard. always.

7. his loyalty. to me. i would have left me a long time ago.

8. he is a great dad! a better dad than i am mom. he lets the kidlets help him in the kitchen, yard, garage, where ever he is. i prefer to do it myself. the kids love being with him.

9. his creativity. he serves the kids mac & cheese in wine glasses and lights candles for a special dinner night for them.

10. his willingness to do anything for our family. he even applied for a job at byu...his dad gave him the okay as long as he doesn't start cheering for them.

11. his laugh...his outloud, belly laugh. it doesn't happen very often (again, see #2) but when he is with his brothers...

12. his driving skills. i know i often make fun of his "grandpa" style of driving, but i know we will always be safe.

13. his love.

happy birthday, shawn! i love you...

what? huh? really?

so i took this quiz here.

i thought i might be a sugar cookie, or even something a little chocolately with some nuts. especially some nuts and i am okay with that. but NO!

i am oatmeal raisin.

ugh.

don't get me wrong. i like a good oatmeal raisin cookie. but it is not my first, or even second choice. it's a little boring. and raisin-y.

and shawn doesn't even like raisins. in fact, he despises them. especially in cookies.

and i am an oatmeal raisin cookie. what am i suppose to do about this new revelation? do i tell shawn?

i could retake the quiz.

but that would be cheating.
and i don't think oatmeal raisin cookies cheat.

Hey! Here's what I want for Christmas!

i received an email with that title from anna this morning. here is the email:

Disney - Pixar - UP! It is available on Blu-ray and DVD November 10.
nintendo dsi
a guitar
a guitar
beetles
new music
new music
cool posters
new clothes
new shoes
some books
some cool movies
a new dog
smecils and japanese erasers


i am happy to see there isn't two new dogs on the list.

daddy daughter derby date

for activity days, anna got to have a pinewood derby with her dad. she designed the car, he cut it out and they painted together. shawn made sure it was up to code and had plenty of graphite in the wheels. and guess what, they came in second place. but more importantly they beat the cougar car!



don't they make a cute couple...

reduction of force

that's what they called it when they laid shawn off yesterday.

oh well.

it sucks.

but what can you do?

i have been brainstorming now that i'm all cried out.

here are a few of my ideas...

*switch to margarine instead of yummy, yummy butter. it's quite a bit cheaper. but i don't know if it would be worth it...

*get double use of clothing by wearing everything twice or three times before washing...including underwear (you can wear it twice by turning in inside-out the next day).

*shower in the dark.

*air dry all hair...so please don't ask if i did my hair or anna's hair when you see us.

*eat leftovers...i know some of you already do and you still have your jobs but this will be new to us.

*darn our socks.

*dress extra warm this winter...although i already keep my heat pretty low, don't know how much this will help.

*don't go anywhere...save on gas. home is best anyway.

*save all of tucker and alice's hair and weave it into sweaters.


just a few ideas. more are welcome, please.

and if he still doesn't have a job in a few months, does anyone know how to do a home delivery. i just don't think i could deliver my own baby. yours, maybe. but not my own.

one more thing, if anyone has any extra prozac, please, pass it my way, please? i might need it in a month or two when my supply runs out.


really, we will be fine. i know we will. let's hope.

a word or two on emesis

**read this post at your own risk. perhaps having a bowl or barf bag nearby wouldn't hurt. or just make sure you have a clear path to the nearest toilet**

otherwise known as vomiting, puking, spewing, hurling, ralphing (i would hate the name ralph, but it might be considered if we have a boy), upchucking (chuck, another possibility), retching, barfing, and just plain old throwing-up.

i have become an expert on this.

it is what i know these days.

not that i want to know it.

but i do. and they say you should write on what you know, so here goes.

this is a list of my least favorite things the throw-up and why. maybe you could learn something, especially if you are pregnant, sick, or thinking about becoming bulimic.

in no particular order...

*milk. and i love milk. i used to drink a couple of glasses every day. but not now. milk goes down as a liquid and comes up as a solid. it curdles in your stomach, which doesn't take long, and comes up chunky. and sour. very sour. but not like sour cream. sour chunks. it makes me sad. no more milk for me.

*rice. you wouldn't normally think that rice would be bad. it's pretty bland and uneventful. however, don't be deceived. rice is little. and when you chew it, it becomes smaller. then when it is spewed, it feels like little maggots coming out. and they get stuck in your mouth. they stick everywhere. and you have to swirl your tongue around and spit to get them all out. and still you will find more. they are just so little and there are many little crevices in your mouth. you get the point.

*popcorn. similar to rice, in the fact that it comes up as small little pieces. and there tends to be little pieces of popcorn kernels stuck everywhere. if you are going to eat popcorn, don't bother picking out the yucks from your teeth, you will be doing it again after the big upchuck.

*orange juice. this is something i crave. but it burns coming up. not worth it.

*hot dogs. now i know many of you wouldn't even bother eating one. but i love a good dog. but not anymore. no matter how much chewing you do, they still come up super chunky. i do not like hurling chunks--it hurts. another thing, they really stink the second time around.

*onions. okay just kidding. just checking to see you if you are still reading. i wouldn't know what it is like to throw these things up. i don't think they are worth eating in the first place.

now this list is not complete. but i am done for the time being. these are the worst for now.

and some of you might think that perhaps i shouldn't eat anything at all. but the worst thing to do is retch on an empty stomach. when your insides are trying to eject its contents, it does it with such force and violence that it will find something to bring up. and it is called bile. and it burns. and burns. and you can feel it eating away the enamel on your teeth. and brushing your teeth doesn't help that feeling go away. bile is the worst. you may as well make a meal of the previous list of items and inhale them before you consider not eating.

i used to say that i wouldn't ever eat anything a second time if i threw it up. however, that plan quickly faded when i realized i soon wouldn't be eating anything at all. i would venture to say that there is not a food i haven't thrown-up that i have eaten. lucky me.

i thought about making a list of things are okay the ralph, but i don't think that list exists.

now, go eat something good. you'll feel better.

baby preparation?

so i wonder if my children are trying to get me ready for the baby.

almost since we have moved here, my lovely and darling children have not slept through the night. particularly the last few nights. they aren't just getting up and shifting and getting water and going back to bed. they are getting up and staying up. for a couple hours.

i don't get it.

i don't know what to do about it.

i am frustrated.

especially because i know that in a few short months, i will have to get out of bed for a baby that really needs me.

i need to get all the sleep i can NOW!

i have thought about locking them in their rooms, handcuffing them to the bed, or drugging them, but then i don't think that is considered being a good and loving mother. which is something i think i should at least pretend to be.

we have a bedtime routine. we leave nightlights on. we say prayers...lots of them. they have bedtime snacks. and drinks. and potty time. i just can't figure out why they are still waking up in the middle of the night.

and i don't know what to do about it...any suggestions?

this is not a teaser...i promise

i am pregnant.

yep. you read that correctly.

i am pregnant.

with a baby (you know, a fetus, a teeny-tiny human being) in my uterus.

and it moves a lot. i saw it. a lot. i heard it's heartbeat. "158 beats. perfect" she said. really it is there.

the baby is due to come somewhere around march 21st.

we don't have any baby stuff anymore. my baby is 7 years old. i am starting over.

but it is great.

really great.

anyone? anyone?

just a teaser to see if anyone is still out there...

please, just come as you are.

anna wants to have a luau hawaiian theme for her birthday party. well, i made the invitations non-hawaiianish. i used what i had. she got worried.

"mom, they won't know to come in their hawaiian clothes. what if they come dressed like someone from england?"

does this invitation say "dress like your from england" to you?

this one's for gramma rhonda

anna said to me the other day:

"mom, i want to go somewhere really good to eat. like taco bell."

self-potraits

 

she has started young. when we, my siblings and I, were younger (okay we still do it--but it's not quite the same with a digital camera) we would take self-potraits all the time. my mom would get so mad when she developed the film and there were self-portraits of us. "waste of film" she would say. but i say they are my favorite pictures and i think she secretly adores them now.

i heart mother earth

 

these are a few pictures i have taken over the last year and a half. most are in colorado and a few in utah at arches national park.

it really is a beautiful world we have here.

there is a reason it's called the mud season

 

so the ski season if officially over and the mud season has officially started. shawn took the kids (including the dog) down to the river to play. and they all looked like this when they returned. i didn't think to take a picture of the others until after they were in the shower. oh well. i am sure they will be back there soon. happy spring.

easter 2009

it was wierd not having family around on easter this year. and it snowed. and i burnt the ham (i tell you my culinary skills are nonexistant). and anna wore the same dress as last year (i felt it okay since we were in utah last year).

but the kiddos still looked cute.

it's all make-believe, anna

anna asked me yesterday if oprah was the same kind of doctor as dr. crane and niles*.

yes, anna, she is. the exact same.


*that would be frasier and niles crane, from frasier--my favorite show these days.

here's to life and love...

5 years ago today, shawn picked me up and took me home. i had not been home for a week. and was scared to go. but ready to go. it was time. i had no idea what was to come but i was ready for the fight. well, maybe i was just not ready to give up completely.

and here i am today. and i am happy. still on some meds. still need my sleep. still have bad days. but i am happy. no thoughts of despair hanging around in my mind. no dark, gloomy clouds hanging overhead. i get out of bed everyday and i do the things a stay-at-home mom does. and it does get monotonous but i am grateful. i wouldn't want it any other way.

i am grateful for life. for my life. for me. for who i am and what i do. i have purpose. and i love.

a far cry from where i was 5 years ago.

so, here's to life and love.

proof...

there was a deer in our backyard. tucker don't poop like that...i would post a comparison picture, but that would be gross.

i just can't do anything right...

the other morning...

anna (tear-stained face, red eyes and screaming...): "mom, i am just trying to live a happy life and it's not working because of you!"

all because i make her wear clean clothes and non-sweat pants (jeans) to school.

she's only eight.

a quest for some optimism in january

redeeming facts about january...

*excellent tv...jack bauer, biggest loser, american idol, psych, monk, the bachelor, etc...i know it seems like a lot of tv but when it is too stinkin' cold to go outside and do anything else...

*it's only one month of the year and it's first, so it's out of the way.

*kids are back in school.

*elk are around in abundance. i think they are beautiful in their herds, all nestled down in the snow.

*hot meals...when i do cook, which i have been doing lately.

(at this point, i am really trying to stay positive. i can think of a hundred things i hate about january but that defeats the purpose of this post)

*fresh snow

okay, i'm done. and i don't think this exercise helped at all. ugh. can you share any positivity with me?

a post worth sharing...

thanks mandy for sharing...

ahhh...

here is my little skier...i love these learn to ski days.

poor anna is home sick.

please act your age

i saw a mom or maybe a nanny get mad at her two maybe three year old yesterday at the post office. she told her she was acting like a one year old and should be embarrassed.

i just don't get it.

one smart carrot...i mean cookie.

anna: "mom, i'm pooping. but i'm constipated. could you get me a couple of carrots?"

what a good mom am i

i told anna monday to let her teacher know that i could help out with the field trip if needed. i tend to wait until the last minute to volunteer--intentionally or unintentionally, i don't know (you see, if you wait until the last minute your chances of actually helping are slim because most people are on top of things but i don't really do all of this on purpose...i am a great procrastinator). anyway, the teacher called to see if i could help out. sure.
well, this field trip was to sylvan lake state park. an outdoor field trip. in the middle of january. with 500 feet of snow. in 20 degree temperatures. for five hours. and it snowed. and i did it.
with my four layers of clothes (not including my long underwear). my coat, my gloves, my boots, my hat with neck gator, and my snow shoes. tromping around sylvan lake. standing the whole day. because i was afraid if i sat down i wouldn't be able to get back up (due to the snow shoes, of course)--and i was right. i couldn't get back up when i fell. the instructor guy had to help me up. quite embarrassing. but i survived. barely.